My year that was

2016 was a terrible year by most standards, but personally it was a mixed bag.

The divorce process that had been dragging on since the end of last year, finally came to an end. A mixed bag of emotions overall. Ever since the end of that long and once great relationship, I craved stability. I was able to find it within a year and for that I’m grateful to the powers that be.

It is strange how we are as human beings. In our teen years and early 20s we constantly yearn for something new and that is reflected in our relationships as well. As I inch closer to 30 (months away now), all I want is to live in my comfort zone along with someone I can share that moment with in silence. This I hope, is a sign that I’m getting older and not one of me being old (I hope I hope).

My resolutions this year were to learn a bit coding and save some money. I have succeeded some what on both fronts, though there is a long long way to go. The challenge will be to continue doing all the good things I have been doing around these two points for the rest of my life.

I don’t have any clarity on the goals that I should set for myself in the coming year. I plan to shift to Mumbai, but that’s not a goal. That’s a decision I made a few months back related to the comfort zone I was talking about a few paras above. May be instead of focusing on skills like I did last year, I should focus on my personality. I have always been friendly, but I don’t think I have always been a great friend. May be I should focus on that.

I don’t know, I seem lost for words. Thankfully I… am not lost. That’s a good place to be at the end of 2016 for me.

The vicious circle of life

Post inspired by this tag done by Rekha

I am not sure about the future but if I had complete power to script my future I am sure it wouldn’t be like this! 🙂 If I had some more control I would left more room for hope and happiness.

10 years back

He stared blankly at the books piled in front of him. All the chapters by tonight, his mother had said before she went out to water the plants. Uff! How was he supposed to finish reading, oh no, memorising all those chapters by tonight! Day dreaming was so much fun and he was surely missing doing it now! No he couldn’t regret the time he spent day dreaming now, it was too late. After all, the exams were starting tomorrow, there was no time to spare. He sure hated maths and science but well, thats the way of life. One has to go through the worst – things one wouldn’t otherwise do – just so that others trust in his talents. He had to do it. Back to the books, back to the invisible walls that held him back from being what he actually was – a 11 year old kid who wanted to watch TV, play cricket and have some fun.

Present

He couldn’t believe he had spent one and a half hours travelling mere 20 kms – thanks to Bangalore traffic and the slow buses in the city! Why did he have to live so far and that too when he didn’t have a bike or a car. There was no one to blame, he sighed. Frikkin pollution, he said to himself as he tried unsuccessfully to wipe the dust which now  made his face look like those naughty English kids Enid Blyton wrote about. Smudged with dust and a frown which would put a bull dog to shame, he stood there in front of the mirror. May be a few splashes of water might help, after all this month’s been not all that bad. He had got a new job offer. Soon he would be working in a different organisation and well earn a little more too.

10 years later

“Oh shit!”There was no need for him to hide the frustration actually there was no way he could have hidden it. He was definitely balding. For a guy who was also complimented by his special-somebody for having such nice hair, it was a jolt – more than a jolt. “Nah she is not going to leave me for something as petty as that,” he reassured himself. Now he could see junior playing right outside the window with the dog. “He is spending too much time playing these days. May be I should tell him to study now,” he thought

“Junior….” he called for his son. Junior sure knew what was coming his way. “Why can’t I have some fun. Why can’t parents just let me be,” he said. The dog just blinked