Time traveling

Some songs have the power to take you back in time. For me, it is ‘In the end’ by Linkin Park.

I remember writing down the lyrics of the song while listening to it on Belmond’s MP3 player. I bet that song was played the most off the 100 on his CD. I remember sitting in a shady “movie theatre” that could seat 70 people and screaming out for this song to be played ahead of the movie. I remember singing along with my friends when they did eventually.

Yes kids, once upon a time they used to play Linkin Park before the movie and not Jana gana mana, but I digress.

I wonder if I remember the song due to these memories, or if I have these memories due to the song. How powerful is a song to build a memory? Would movie moments be equally momentous if not for the background score?

I guess in the end… It doesn’t even matter.

My year that was

2016 was a terrible year by most standards, but personally it was a mixed bag.

The divorce process that had been dragging on since the end of last year, finally came to an end. A mixed bag of emotions overall. Ever since the end of that long and once great relationship, I craved stability. I was able to find it within a year and for that I’m grateful to the powers that be.

It is strange how we are as human beings. In our teen years and early 20s we constantly yearn for something new and that is reflected in our relationships as well. As I inch closer to 30 (months away now), all I want is to live in my comfort zone along with someone I can share that moment with in silence. This I hope, is a sign that I’m getting older and not one of me being old (I hope I hope).

My resolutions this year were to learn a bit coding and save some money. I have succeeded some what on both fronts, though there is a long long way to go. The challenge will be to continue doing all the good things I have been doing around these two points for the rest of my life.

I don’t have any clarity on the goals that I should set for myself in the coming year. I plan to shift to Mumbai, but that’s not a goal. That’s a decision I made a few months back related to the comfort zone I was talking about a few paras above. May be instead of focusing on skills like I did last year, I should focus on my personality. I have always been friendly, but I don’t think I have always been a great friend. May be I should focus on that.

I don’t know, I seem lost for words. Thankfully I… am not lost. That’s a good place to be at the end of 2016 for me.

Aside

Kaapi

Why do we always feel extra sleepy on days when we have extra work to complete? Every other night I’m twisting and turning in bed waiting for sleep, but today?

Let’s all take a moment and praise the god/evolution for coffee.

Moving on

And so it ended. Not with the bang of a gavel, or on a thundering note, but with a sombre sentence.

Now I need to move on, or at least that’s what I told myself.

To an extent I had already; not because I wanted to, but because I had to. It didn’t make sense to cling on to that past and what could have been. I had to hold on to those good memories from the past and let go of all those that gave me pain.

Now I have.

 

 

Career choice

When I was in school I wanted to be in advertising; on the creative side to be specific. Somewhere along the line thought I shifted focus to journalism. While I was a journalist I followed up on the idea of starting a blog on gaming industry in India, may be even do it as a full time thing. It’s now dead, I killed it actually. None of these panned out the way I had hoped it to, but the struggle each of these options put me through have helped build by character. (Calvin’s dad was right!).

Now I’m a business analyst who helps people figure out how to implement Salesforce in their companies. It was a drastic shift on the surface, but it has been a very interesting one.

The short version is that with enough dedication you can learn anything. It takes time to gain expertise though. Having people around with expertise and are willing to share it with you will accelerate your acclimatization process.

I’ll write in-depth on the transition later on. I think it might help others that are looking to make such career changes. I don’t see journalists looking beyond careers inn immediate vicinity such as PR, corporate communication, social media marketing etc when they leave the industry. The truth is, skills of journalists can be applied in many industries as long as you’re willing to spend some time and learn how to tweak those skills.

The price of silence

I can keep a secret pretty well. There are a lot of things that people have told me that I would never repeat to anyone, just because I was told to keep it a secret. There are things I have done in the past that I will not talk about to anyone, because it’s my secret.

Most people though do not have the ability to keep a secret. I always found it strange; until now. There is something I wish to talk about publicly, but then I was told not to do that for some very valid reasons.

So here I’m all. All restless and twitchy, because I’m now carrying a secret that I no longer want to hold on to. I wish the mind-erasing technology in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was around. I guess, I’m missing the point of the movie. I wish for a perfect version of that. I could really do with it right now.

Aside

Analogy

I hate analogies. They raise more questions than it answers and never fully explains a scenario. This makes me believe that there are no good analogies. There are bad analogies and those that make sense in an ELI5 scenario. Please avoid them if you can. Understand the issue for what it is instead of comparing apples and oranges.

Resolutions

Keeping it simple this year.  I quit smoking last year though I had no plans to when the year started. That’s great. So this year I decided to make some actual resolutions.

  1. Learn how to code
  2. Save more money

I have already started on the first one. The second one is always more complicated.

The point

What’s the point of being literate if you don’t read?
What’s the point of reading if you don’t understand?
What’s the point of understanding if you don’t learn from it?
What’s the point of learning if you don’t do anything with it?
What’s the point even if you do it anyway?

Something emotional

I promised to myself not to write anything too emotional for a few days, but then I felt like writing about music.

How can you NOT feel emotional about music when there are a lot of emotions that go into making one? Then there are emotions conveyed, some perceived by us listeners, but most importantly there are the feelings that are generated within us on listening to one. Overall, a song is an emotional bomb; or at least it can be.

*

I was going through a phase of depression a few months back and only then did I look at music for the meaning it conveyed and its tone. Till then it was all about the genre, artist, generation or some other categorization.

The results were fantastic and it now makes me wonder why songs are not classified on such a basis by more people. There are so many sub-genres and people get so stuck up on certain genres that they don’t even listen to anything outside it.

*

I was picky about the genre of movies I liked to watch as a kid. I did not know the word genre back then, but horror movies were a strict no no. Dramas just didn’t make much sense. Action movies were ohkay, but the best kind of movies back then involved some detective work. Oh boy I couldn’t get enough of them. I don’t remember much about any of those movies except how much I looked forward to one. Strange right?

Following music by genre is somewhat like that. You look forward to it and enjoy it as well, but in the long term may be you’re missing out on something.

Wow that analogy makes no sense that it is close to being nonsense. Actually that’s how I feel about most analogies. They are so flawed.  So frustrating!

So here are a few songs I heard today that you might like. Cheers!